Monday, September 19, 2011

"Why Love If Losing Hurts So Much?"

"Why love if losing hurts so much?  We love to know that we are not alone."  C.S. Lewis

When we love, we become vulnerable.  We can badly hurt by those who love us, either by things they do to us, by divorce, by rejection, by abuse, or even by death.  It can hurt so bad that we begin to wonder if we should love at all, if we should really leave ourselves so vulnerable.  We are tempted to withdraw and want to live in a cocoon.  We genuinely question whether Tennyson was right when he wrote, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Well, Tennyson was right.  Yes, loving people leaves us open to great hurts.  Yet, the alternative is worst. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference or irrelevance.  There is no greater pain than the feeling of being completely alone.   If you have been hurt by someone whom you have loved deeply, do not give in to the temptation to withdraw.  In the long run, it will be even more painful.  

And, to put a spiritual spin on this, I am going to commit blasphemy and say that C.S. Lewis is not quite right.  We do not only love to know that we are not alone.  The real reason that we love is because God has loved us.  We are able to love and to be vulnerable because we have the faith that He loves us, we are never truly alone, and ultimately He will heal every hurt and dry every tear.


  1. Well said. Yes, our Source for love is God. To reject love at one point is to do damage at all points and renders us less human. This is why we are even called to love our enemies.

  2. reallly?? My god your religious fantacism is annoying. I was really enjoying your information about the quote, only to achieve a feeling of "Omg this person is an idiot, and "Oh no she didnt!!" when you mentioned god.

    HOnestly, my goal isnt to argue that god is real or not..

    My goal is to tell you that in discussing philosphy, God has no role. The only purpose of god in something like this would be to serve as an idealized "Fantasy", where you use the imagined infinite love of god, as a crutch to ease your own pain with the world.