"Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone." C.S. Lewis
When we love, we become vulnerable. We can badly hurt by those who love us, either by things they do to us, by divorce, by rejection, by abuse, or even by death. It can hurt so bad that we begin to wonder if we should love at all, if we should really leave ourselves so vulnerable. We are tempted to withdraw and want to live in a cocoon. We genuinely question whether Tennyson was right when he wrote, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Well, Tennyson was right. Yes, loving people leaves us open to great hurts. Yet, the alternative is worst. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference or irrelevance. There is no greater pain than the feeling of being completely alone. If you have been hurt by someone whom you have loved deeply, do not give in to the temptation to withdraw. In the long run, it will be even more painful.
And, to put a spiritual spin on this, I am going to commit blasphemy and say that C.S. Lewis is not quite right. We do not only love to know that we are not alone. The real reason that we love is because God has loved us. We are able to love and to be vulnerable because we have the faith that He loves us, we are never truly alone, and ultimately He will heal every hurt and dry every tear.
When we love, we become vulnerable. We can badly hurt by those who love us, either by things they do to us, by divorce, by rejection, by abuse, or even by death. It can hurt so bad that we begin to wonder if we should love at all, if we should really leave ourselves so vulnerable. We are tempted to withdraw and want to live in a cocoon. We genuinely question whether Tennyson was right when he wrote, "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."
Well, Tennyson was right. Yes, loving people leaves us open to great hurts. Yet, the alternative is worst. The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference or irrelevance. There is no greater pain than the feeling of being completely alone. If you have been hurt by someone whom you have loved deeply, do not give in to the temptation to withdraw. In the long run, it will be even more painful.
And, to put a spiritual spin on this, I am going to commit blasphemy and say that C.S. Lewis is not quite right. We do not only love to know that we are not alone. The real reason that we love is because God has loved us. We are able to love and to be vulnerable because we have the faith that He loves us, we are never truly alone, and ultimately He will heal every hurt and dry every tear.
